Audible - doing the impossible!

A Customer Focused Company?

Ever ask a service for something simple and are told that that cannot be done? Ever push on that for a bit and find out yes it can be done but only if you're an asshole about it? Why do I always have to be the asshole to get things done? Seems like there are two types of people, those who give up and don't fight about things, just going with the flow and not making waves and those who think they are being treated wrongly and fight for their rights. You people who roll over and just play dead should celebrate us who fight for you, you worthless swine!

Amazon! Great company whose motto is to be the most consume focused company may focus on consumers - but they really won't necessarily help customers. This is a tail about this. Jeff Bezos, are you listening? Do you care? I think not!

Background

I've been an Audible customer for a long time - how long - let's just say over a decade. One day I noticed that I appeared to have 2 accounts. Actually, with AWS and the training I had about AWS, I have a lot of Amazon accounts associated with AWS so I tried to identify my "shopping" account as in my Shopping folder and AWS accounts in AWS folders. In any event I noticed I had multiple accounts so I wrote Amazon support:

Why is it that it appears I have two accounts with Audible. One with a email address of adefaria@gmail.com, which seems to have a wish list and my whole library and another account based off of Andrew@DeFaria.com that has 1 credit but believes I don't have the Audible app, has nothing in my Wish List and only Guitar Zero in my library (which isn't in the library for adefaria@gmail.com)? 

Part of the problem, IMHO, has been this dual account login or at least a confusing login that occurred when Amazon bought out Audible. I've been an Audible user for quite some time. I also use LastPass to manage the many online web accounts that I have. I also have taking some Amazon AWS training so there's some accounts there too. However I labeled the adefaria@gmail.com account as "Amazon Shopping" as I tend to do my Amazon Shopping through that account. But I had had my Andrew@DeFaria.com account labeled as Audible and had had that account with Audible for a long time. 

I would like to get these accounts consolidated into one account. I would be happy with consolidating these accounts to the adefaria@gmail.com or to the Andrew@DeFaria.com account. Either one, but just one as this is a consolidation. 

Also, I want to make sure the consolidated account has my full Audible library and if I am due a credit, have the credit there too.  

Please advise and help me resolve these issues into one account 

Thanks.

To this I was told that this was not doable. That was on 5/29. On  6/23 I was emailed:

Hi Andrew DeFaria,

We couldn’t complete a charge on your credit card to process your Audible Membership fee.

To avoid delays in getting new credits, or a disruption of your membership, let's make sure everything is up to date. Go to your Account Details page and review your credit card information. Check to see if your credit card number, expiration date, and billing address are all correct.

If you believe that information is up-to-date, please contact your credit card company to find out why they declined the charge for your membership fee.

This is what caused me to look into the Two Accounts @ Audible problem once again and I chatted up the support line, customer focused, remember your mission. Here's the transcript:

Hello, Here's a copy of the chat transcript you requested: Initial Question: 1::my_account:::2::other_account_questions::: Why do I have two accounts? 04:13 PM PDT Davaughn(Audible): Thank you for contacting Audible. My name is Davaughn. I can certainly look into this for you. 04:16 PM PDT Davaughn: Could you give me some more information on this 2 accounts you seeing? 04:16 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: You mean you can't see them?!? 04:17 PM PDT Davaughn: I see that you have a merged account. 04:17 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: OK, here's the shspel... You asked for it

Here I copied and pasted an email I sent to support@audible.com. The response I got back from this email was that they couldn't merge two accounts into one account. Remember that...

Why is it that it appears I have two accounts with Audible. One with a email address of adefaria@gmail.com, which seems to have a wish list and my whole library and another account based off of Andrew@DeFaria.com that has 1 credit but believes I don't have the Audible app, has nothing in my Wish List and only Guitar Zero in my library (which isn't in the library for adefaria@gmail.com)? Part of the problem, IMHO, has been this dual account login or at least a confusing login that occurred when Amazon bought out Audible. I've been an Audible user for quite some time. I also use LastPass to manage the many online web accounts that I have. I also have taking some Amazon AWS training so there's some accounts there too. However I labeled the adefaria@gmail.com account as "Amazon Shopping" as I tend to do my Amazon Shopping through that account. But I had had my Andrew@DeFaria.com account labeled as Audible and had had that account with Audible for a long time. I would like to get these accounts consolidated into one account. I would be happy with consolidating these accounts to the adefaria@gmail.com or to the Andrew@DeFaria.com account. Either one, but just one as this is a consolidation. Also, I want to make sure the consolidated account has my full Audible library and if I am due a credit, have the credit there too. Please advise and help me resolve these issues into one account. Thanks. 04:18 PM PDT Davaughn: I do see Andrew@DeFaria.com email that you are merged with. You have 2 accounts in 1. 04:19 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: WTF? Which do I use Andrew@DeFaria.com or adefaria@gmail.com? 04:20 PM PDT Davaughn: This is the 1 you use adefaria@gmail.com. 04:20 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: When I go there it says my membership was canceled 5/17/18. I never canceled it. 04:21 PM PDT Davaughn: I'm seeing that the membership got cancelled because of delinquency. 04:21 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: What do you mean delinquency? 04:22 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: My account was always Andrew@DeFaria.com. How did it change? 04:22 PM PDT Davaughn: The card on the account is either expired or don't have sufficient funds on the card. 04:23 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Which is why I'm here. I got an email saying you weren't able to bill. I've since put funds in the account. I click the link and I'm not sure what account I'm supposed to update! 04:24 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Also, do you typically close somebody's account 2 days after saying you coudln't withdraw funds? I mean I thought you tried at least twice. This is a mess and I want it cleaned up. 04:25 PM PDT Davaughn: I'm sorry about the inconvenience, see if you can update card on the account or place a new card. 04:26 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: WHICH ACCOUNT?!?! 04:26 PM PDT Davaughn: adefaria@gmail.com. 04:26 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Again, my account, FOR YEARS, has been Andrew@DeFaria.com. How, when and why did it change? And what do I do with the old account? 04:28 PM PDT Davaughn: The 2 accounts are merged and the membership was on the adefaria@gmail.com. If you want to enroll back in a membership add card back to this email. 04:29 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: What I WANT is for my Andrew@DeFaria.com account to be my AUDIBLE ACCOUNT. How do I do that? Also my Andrew@DeFaria.com account has only one book and has a credit. 04:29 PM PDT Davaughn: Wasn't that the email you wanted to use when you ask for the account to be merged? 04:29 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: NO. And when I asked for the accounts to be merged I was told that it couldn't be done. 04:30 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: How about we move my one credit to the adefaria@gmail.com account along wtih the one book in the old library and then tell me how I can change the email address associated with my account? 04:32 PM PDT Davaughn: Just a moment. 04:32 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Also, I don't need to add my card back - it's already there, it's just the funds were low and that has been fixed. 04:36 PM PDT Davaughn: You can't change your email unless you already have another email with a Amazon membership. 04:36 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: But I already do have another email address with an Amazon membership! Andrew@DeFaria.com! Both email addresses are associated with Amazon. 04:37 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: adefaria@gmail.com -> AWS Andrew@DeFaria.com -> Audible Both are Amazon properties. 04:38 PM PDT Davaughn: For security purposes please verify the name, email and billing address associated with your Audible account. 04:38 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Andrew DeFaria Andrew@DeFaria.com adefaria@gmail.com 14435 S 48th Street #2083 Phoenix, AZ 85044 04:39 PM PDT Davaughn: That's not the address on this email. 04:40 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Which email? 04:41 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Addresses I move... a lot. It gets hard to remember the address information and time periods of where I used to live so I created this page. Starting with the most recent... 14435 S. 48th Street #2083 Phoenix, Arizona 85044-6448 March 2018 - Present 11727 Stoney Peak Drive #65 San Diego, California 92128-6440 August 2016 - March 2018 4139 Via Marina #709 Marina Del Rey, California 90292-5385 May 2016 - August 2016 1676 Hope Drive #1915 Santa Clara, California 95054-1721 July 2013 - May 2016 04:41 PM PDT Davaughn: Andrew@DeFaria.com. 04:41 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: That oughta cover it. 04:44 PM PDT Davaughn: I don't the address in those addresses you just sent. 04:44 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Well then you get the whole list! I guess since you never actually snail mail me I never actually update my address... I move... a lot. It gets hard to remember the address information and time periods of where I used to live so I created this page. Starting with the most recent... 14435 S. 48th Street #2083 Phoenix, Arizona 85044-6448 March 2018 - Present 11727 Stoney Peak Drive #65 San Diego, California 92128-6440 August 2016 - March 2018 4139 Via Marina #709 Marina Del Rey, California 90292-5385 May 2016 - August 2016 1676 Hope Drive #1915 Santa Clara, California 95054-1721 July 2013 - May 2016 11064 West Ocean Air Drive #230 San Diego, California 92130-4605 December 2011 - July 2013 3160 Rubino Drive #103 San Jose, California 95125-6383 February 2011 - December 2011 1742 Seagull Court #101 Reston, Virgina 20194-4336 November 2010 - February 2011 19465 42nd Avenue Southeast #28E Bothell, Washington 98012-5446 January 2010 - October 2010 1250 West Grove Parkway #1178 Tempe, Arizona 85283-4449 June 2007 - January 2010 12500 Merit Dr #6312 Dallas, Texas 75251-1933 October 2006 - June 2007 6265 Kelez Ct San Jose, California 95120-2819 December 2004 - October 2006 2800 Madison Ave #C5 Fullerton, California 92831-2231 May 2004 - December 2004 6168 Camino Verde Way #??? San Jose, California 95119-1407 July 2003 - May 2004 6187 Ellerbrook Way San Jose, California 95123-5012 November 2001 - July 2003 5485 Eagles Lane #3 San Jose, California 95123-1869 November 2000 - November 2001 5475 Eagles Lane #4 San Jose, California 95123-1868 1901 Halford Ave Santa Clara, California 95051 1408 Essex Way #1 San Jose, California 95117 3655 Pruneridge Ave #??? Santa Clara, California 95051 ??? Garland, Texas 75040 549 East Blancke Street Linden, New Jersey 07036 Route 4, Parsippany, NJ 07054 549 East Blancke Street Linden, New Jersey 07036 116 East Henry Street Linden, New Jersey 07036 04:45 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Seeing as I beleive I started in 2009 I'd think perhaps the Tempe address is the correct one. 04:46 PM PDT Davaughn: Okay I found the address now. 04:47 PM PDT Davaughn: So you want to reconsonsoldate account to the andrew@defaria.com? 04:47 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: If we could get everything over there like my library and the like, sure. That's what I'm aiming for. 04:48 PM PDT Davaughn: Okay I'll get that done. 5 minutes please.

Remember. They said it couldn't be done but it appears as if this guy will do it!

04:49 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Sure. That'd be great. As I said, the credit card (0061) is good, I just ran out of money because it was close to payday when you drafted. It's good now. 04:49 PM PDT Davaughn: That's good news then, Just a moment. 04:55 PM PDT Davaughn: I have documented your concern with wanting to send your books to your andrew@defaria.com email and will need some more time to look into it. I will contact you back in 1-2 business days with more information. I am sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you. The following is the Case ID that we have created for your account as a reference:Case ID: 0154775001 . 04:55 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Can you email me that last message so I can keep track? Either email address will do. 04:56 PM PDT Davaughn: You want to enroll membership on andrew@defaria.com? 04:56 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Yes please. 04:57 PM PDT Davaughn: Your gonna have to place the new card on the email you want to use please. 04:58 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Huh? I have the 0061 card there already. Do I need to delete and re-add it? 04:59 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: All the details appear to be OK... 05:00 PM PDT Davaughn: I don't see that card on the andrew@defaria.com. 05:03 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: I'm not sure how I can prove it to you but I see it straight in front of my face. There's a banner on the site that says my MasterCard is incorrect or expired. When clicked it puts me to Manage your Credit Cards. I see my credit card right there. I edit it. All the info is good. 05:04 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: I guess I just ahve to delete it and re-add it... 05:04 PM PDT Davaughn: See if you can try again, sorry about that. 05:05 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Can't delete nor add a new card (if the card info is the same). UGH! 05:06 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Some developers don't think things through...\ 05:07 PM PDT Davaughn: Just a moment Andrew. 05:08 PM PDT Davaughn: That card is on your adefaria@gmail.com but not on the andrew@defaria.com. 05:10 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Trust me - I'm logged into Andrew@DeFaria.com in another browser and that card it there for sure. 05:11 PM PDT Davaughn: Let me check again. 05:12 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Something's screwy! I deleted my MasterCard on that account. I added my American Express card. I logged out and back in and it's still saying ooks like your default MasterCard card is incorrect or expired. Update my info. 05:13 PM PDT Davaughn: Think I found it now. Just a moment. 05:16 PM PDT Davaughn: See if you can add back the master card. 05:20 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Right now both accounts are set up to use Amex so I guess that's OK. If you can consolidate it -> Andrew@DeFaria.com then let me know, at some point I can add the MasterCard and delete the Amex. 05:21 PM PDT Davaughn: Okay, just a moment. Would have to redo the ticket. 05:26 PM PDT Davaughn: The account as successfully been updated and I sent the information to your email. 05:26 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: You sent this transcript? 05:26 PM PDT Davaughn: The email was sent to adefaria@gmail.com. 05:27 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Oh I just got a charge to my Amex from Audible but I don't know from which account.... For some reason it was for $16.24. 05:28 PM PDT Davaughn: Tax of $1.29 brings it to that amount. 05:29 PM PDT Davaughn: Andrew@DeFaria.com this is where you are charged from, you also have 2 credits on the account now. 05:29 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: I thought my membership as $15.00 a month. Plus $1.29 would be $16.29 no? Don't recall being taxed before. Perhaps that's from that SCOTUS ruling? 05:30 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Cool. So can we say that my Audible account is now firmly in Andrew@DeFaria.com? 05:30 PM PDT Davaughn: That is correct Andrew. 05:31 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: I see the 2 credits. Alas I see only one book in my library :-( 05:31 PM PDT Davaughn: Consolidation take 2 days. Read your email for more info. 05:32 PM PDT Davaughn: Books will be there in the next couple of hours. 05:32 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Oh, OK. My current client doesn't allow me to get to gmail while at work. Thanks for you help. 05:32 PM PDT Davaughn: You are most welcomes chat, you will receive an email confirmation with a short e-mail survey regarding the level of support provided and your feedback will be highly appreciated 05:33 PM PDT Andrew DeFaria: Once again, thanks. Back to work for me...

So this guy just did the impossible and merged accounts when I was told that was impossible to do!

But wait there's more... Given the new credits (there are now 3 - perhaps they were trying to make amends) I figured, time to order a new book so I went to my Wish List which I keep books I'm thinking of getting next. It was empty and so I asked them to transfer the Wish List too. Here's their response:

Hey Andrew, Thank you for writing to us. Let me share some information with you. The wish list cannot be transferred. I apologize for the inconvenience. Currently this feature is not available. Thank you for bringing this into our consideration, and we are glad you took your time to write this to us. Considering your email as a feedback, I have forwarded it to the appropriate department. They will certainly look into this. We value your business and hope you'll give us an opportunity to prove the quality of our service to you in the future. As soon as your request becomes available, we will definitely let you know about this through our website. If you wish you can also send your feedback to : greatideas@audible.com. On a personal level, I appreciate your patience, co-operation and understanding in this matter. It is a privilege to have you as our valued customer and we want to make sure you are always taken care of.

Sincerely, Prerna K Audible.com

Oh no! Another impossibility - The wish list cannot be transferred! I retort

 Hell my wish list is not that large. You could copy and paste it into an email...

And their response?

Hi Andrew, Thanks for writing to us. I totally get your point however, I would like to inform you that for your account safety, we are not authorized to transfer books from wishlist as we have to verify both the account which cannot be done over email support. In this case, I would request you to contact us over live support so that our account specialist team can verify your accounts and help you right away in transferring your wishlist as well. For call: Please click the following link and enter your contact information: https://www.audible.com/mt/click2call. For chat: Please click the following link and enter your contact information: https://www.audible.com/amazon-chat. Be rest assured, once you will contact us over live support, this issue would be resolved. Take care because you deserve best in life!

Sincerely, Jitesh K Audible.com

Anybody notice this same pattern where each response comes from different person? How is that useful? How is that efficient?

I initially respond with:

I feel so safe now! Thanks!

NOT! 

Poking fun at the statement that they are doing it for my safety! Whenever a company gets cornered into being wrong they pull out the "I'm sorry but we can't do that because it's a security issue". Hallelujah! Grace be to 9/11 for that! However I later determined that I should expand on this issue:

 Sorry, but I must add - what a lame ass fucking excuse!

Now go away!

I was pissed because it was a lame ass excuse. And as thought about it more I thought it was a good idea to explain why I thought it was a lame ass excuse:

You know what? Let me further expose on the stupidity of this! 

You mean to tell me you can consolidate my two accounts of which I have no idea how I got a second one, move over all of the books, billing information, past orders shipment dates, etc. from one account to the other but gawd forbid we tell you what your previous, unpurchased, list of "hey I might like this book" otherwise known as my "wish list" because you surely need to protect me from somebody, somehow, in some impossible scenario might figure out what Andrew DeFaria might be interested listening to as an audio book. THAT would surely put Andrew DeFaria in too much harm and we must protect his security!!! We could give a fuck less that somebody might find out what he actually bought and listened to, nor his previous addresses or credit card information. Is that about right? 

Fucking stupid! I'm seriously considering canceling my Audible account. I don't need such stupidity in my life! Maybe if I never had to deal with support droids like yourself. Geeze!

Then I got the following response. Note, yet another person responds:

Hi Andrew, I understand your concern that you would like to transfer your wishlist from old account to this "andrew@defaria.com" account. I am sorry for the inconvenience this may caused you. As you requested, I have transferred your wishlist from old account to this "andrew@defaria.com" account. If there's anything else you need help, please let us know. Thank you for contacting Audible.

Sincerely, Vaishali Audible.com For those keeping count there's Prerna K,  Jitesh K (must be related... K?), and now Vaishali - got a fucking American?!? Amazing! Doing the impossible! Funny, you just wrote me: I totally get your point however, I would like to inform you that for your account safety, we are not authorized to transfer books from wishlist as we have to verify both the account which cannot be done over email support. And yet you just did it. Fucking liar! Why is it I have to bitch and moan and be the bad guy just to get this shit done?!? No I refuse to accept that I'm the fucking bad guy - I was right! From the start. But I have to get upset and fucking curse to get things done. Shame on you! Just total shame! Further email from you will just be returned! Note my spam blocker didn't work because I had customersupport@audible.com in my whitelist so I got more email: Hi Andrew, I understand you're upset and I regret that we haven't been able to address your concerns to your satisfaction. Your last correspondence was handled by our senior executive and that is why they were able to bypass the verification. It was never our intention to not help you, we also called you over live support (Phone/Chat), so that we would help you asap. We appreciate your love for audiobooks and are always happy to help you. Wishing you a good day. Sincerely, Akshay R Audible.com Ah, Akshay R joins the party! 4 emails - 4 different people. Here's a clue - empower your people as far down the line as necessary to provide a customer first, or dare I say the most customer focused company so that they can effect change and get things done and not have to go up the chain to get permission to do what the customer wants!!! The above is a great example of this. I've already established what I wanted to have happen but have to get upset and bitch out, curse and push your support people to do what they say is not possible but in the end is possible and the only reason that it is possible is that I bitch and complain about it and they go up the tree to get permission to do the right thing - the thing I asked for in the first place! It's clear their excuses are nothing more than lies - to their customers! - and/or not put in place to protect Audible nor protect me but rather just to avoid having to do work for those people too timid or too busy to fight for their rights. What kind of impression do you think this leaves with me? What kind of endorsement do you hope to get from me? How shall I spread the word about all of this Audible and Amazon (let alone apparently Amazon to Acquire PillPack - See Pillpack - used to have great support but it has been floundering lately) "goodness". Well you're reading it and it's not good. So I write back: The point is you shouldn't have to do that! You should empower the reps that are working directly with your customers! It's clear this could be done but I was told it couldn't be. Why is that? There is no go reason. NO GOOD REASON WHATSOEVER! When you say you can't do something you should say tjat because you actually can't do it, not because some stupid policy that doesn't mesh with reality is stopping you. The stated reason for the policy what totally not inline with reality - it was fucking stupid and that's the reason upper management told you to push it through - because you done fucked up!  I assure you I will write up this issue in detail on a blog entry and I will assure you that I will make sure it gets to Jeff Bezos eyeballs as I have connections. Expect to be fired as I've heard he tends to do this.  Bad stories about your service can be 1000 times worse than you think. Finally they write back: Hello Andrew, I understand that you are unhappy that your issue was not resolved at first instance. I am sorry for the incovenience this has caused you. I have taken your feedback and forwarded to our relevant team and requested them to look into this. Please be assured that you won't face the same issue again from our end. If there's anything else you need help, please let us know so we will help you in an appropriate manner. Thank you for contacting Audible. Sincerely, Vaishali Audible.com Hey Vaishali's back! Must have been a mistake... Jeff Bezos, is this really your vision for the most customer focused business?