Let's "exercise" some tech recruiters - shall we?

One Andy Satulla, pretending to be a tech recruiter. Here's what millennials are like...

So this dude emails me the following:

From: Andy Satulla <AndyS@fortitudesys.com>
To: Andrew DeFaria <Andrew@DeFaria.com>
Subject: Full Time Sr Python Developer Roles in San Jose and LA (starting at 150k and can go up!) 

I wanted to circle up with you here in regards to your resume because your background lines up great with a couple of positions I currently have available. Give me a call as soon as you can and we can discuss the logistics and details of these positions further. You can reach me at 469-249-0700.

So I respond:

You are cleared to be able to send me email. Please send any job descriptions that you have properly screened me for. 

Thanks.

He says:

I do not have any concrete job descriptions, but would love to discuss this position in further detail.

So I shoot back:

If you have no concrete details then what would we talked about? Tell you what when you get some concrete details let me know.

He responds with:

Hi Andrew, 

So, what I mean by that is I do not have a concrete job description. I work off of bullet points mostly and know that we are looking for a strong python developer, who has also been a part of a devops environment. My manager, Luke, has an exclusive relationship with these guys and they are one of the biggest networking and cyber security companies in the country. Additionally, this person will be working in an open source environment. 

Best Regards,
Andy

Ugh! Seem he doesn't know what he's doing so I educate him:

Dude, dude, dude. If you have no concrete job description then you have no way to properly screen me. To do so would require that you concretely know the requirements in order to compare them to my skill set to ensure you're not wasting my time. This is common sense. This has nothing do to with bullet points but everything to do with the words and meanings that appear after the actual bullet point. 

Even given the limited information you are working with you have full information from my side. You said you are looking for a strong Python developer. Am I a strong Python developer? Let's check with my resume. The word Python occurs only once @ ICANN, a contract that I was at from May 2016 - July 2016 - 3 fucking months. Even a stupid person who knows nothing about technology wouldn't say that such a person was a strong Python developer! Do you think I give a crap about whether this company is "one of the biggest networking and cyber security companies"? Here's a clue - no I don't. 

Usually when I encounter a tech recruiter who fails to provide me with the relevant details about an opportunity thus failing to show that he has done his due diligence in properly screening me for the position such that he is not about to waste my time, and yet insists we get "on the horn" to discuss the position (as if his crackerjack sales techniques will leave me panting at this wonderful position with "one of the biggest networking and cyber security companies") I can tell instinctively that this person has little to no experience with technology nor tech recruiting and definite didn't do shit to make sure he's got a match. So over to LinkedIn... 

From LinkedIn I find, as expected, that you've only been on the job for a mere 7 months. Prior to that, your big experience has been as a summer intern!!! For fitness and sport?!? And yet only for 4 months... with a previous 4-month stint as a driver!!! Hmmm... How many Americans can drive a car?!? 

You're longest gig was 1 year and 3 months as a fucking umpire! And you have the gall to approach me about a highly technical job and you don't know the first thing about?!? Oh and your education in "Exercise Science"!!! Got a BS in that eh? Typical stupid millennial who doesn't know his ass from his elbow WRT the ways of the world and business. 

Even administered a "jumping test". Jump like an uneducated rabbit. Jump away! 

You're privilege to email me has been revoked!

There's a lesson to be learned here and that is if a tech recruiter approaches you, check his background to ensure he knows what the fuck he's doing!

In a way I feel sorry for this Andy dude as it's clear he has a lot to learn...